Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everyting happens for a reason ~ Unknown
This is a very recent photo of me and my brother posing on the BGSU letters. I wasn’t expecting to use it as an artifact, but it quickly became a crucial part of understanding my worldview. This artifact has many layers of meaning for me, and through its story, the values of respect, autonomy, and trust in the process of life highly stand out to me as key parts of my worldview.
Throughout my entire childhood, I was homeschooled. I never attended a traditional school even though I begged my mom time and time again to let me go to the local public school. Looking back I see the sound logic and protection in my mom’s decision to keep me and my younger brother home as our local school system’s depth of education was lacking but at the time all I wanted was to be around other kids my age.
My tiny midwest town offered other opportunities to socialize with peers, such as Little League sports and library activities; however, I still felt very secluded. My social circle was incredibly small, made up almost entirely of my extended family. There were a couple of years when I had a friend group through a church community; these relationships never felt genuine and seemed to just serve a religious purpose. Sadly, when I was sixteen, my mom, my brother, and I, upon deciding to leave the religion, were cut off from one of the only communities that we knew. I was back to only having my extended family to lean on. Although these family relationships were strained due to the now religious difference, they were the most important thing in my life.
While I longed for a larger community to be a part of, I convinced myself that I was content with the friendships I had with my extended family, particularly my four cousins who were close in age to me. In my mind, not having outside friends was okay, because these family relationships were eternal. At least that’s the mindset that was preached to me. My extended family fervently declared that “families are forever” and “blood is thicker than water” so often that it was ingrained into my subconscious. Consequently, this way of thinking that was persistently enforced on me warped my worldview. Leading me to believe that the outside world would always be temporary and damaging, but family would always be nurturing and eternal. These phrases, promises, and worldviews are unfortunately unrealistic and controlling, as I would despairingly learn to accept.
Tensions had been growing between me and my extended family for several years, but increased in the summer of 2024. I could do nothing to lessen these issues as they stemmed from our religious differences and my decision to think and view life differently than them. I never treated them differently for viewing the world in the way they chose to, but I did not receive the same kind of respect. I absolutely loved my family and wanted nothing more than to have them as my closest people. But something I’ve learned is that no matter how much you want something to work out, you ultimately have to make peace with reality and move in a different direction that aligns with what you value in your view of life.
A week before I moved to Bowling Green last fall, I was finally faced with the decision I had been dreading: withhold my individuality and fill a persona my family wanted me to be or to embrace my autonomy and stand on my own values. After years of suppressing the desire to think critically about life and form a worldview that differed from the rest of my family, I was mentally ready to walk away from these ties that were, in all reality, unhealthy and controlling. That didn’t mean that my heart was ready, though. Even though this time was difficult and heartbreaking, I realized that I had been allowing two things that I gave significant importance to in my worldview to be suppressed just to keep the peace with these family members. These values were respect and autonomy. Despite losing a huge part of my life in this decision, I finally chose to allow myself to have my own worldview and live by the standards my values create.
Moving to Bowling Green felt untimely amidst the confusion and uncertainty of abruptly having my whole life turned upside down. With such a significant loss, it felt like my life was ending, but I chose to believe that it was just beginning and that, as the saying goes, life would find a way of working out. This mindset is what drove me to earnestly find my place at BG. This era of working hard towards an unknown future despite experiencing such a shattering blow taught me something that I hold at the front of my worldview currently: life truly does work out.
This picture of me and my brother posing at the BGSU letters encapsulates this important lesson of working hard and trusting life to work out. To me, this picture serves as proof that no matter what challenges I face in life, I can stay true to my values, work honestly, and trust that the future will unfold even better than if I were the one directing every scene myself.
When we took this picture a couple of weeks ago, I immediately loved it. It was taken at the Presidents Day event, the same day my brother told me that he had decided to join me as a falcon in the fall. Every time I looked at it, I was just filled with joy and excitement. I didn’t know exactly what it was about the picture that meant so much to me; I just assumed that it was related to the fact that I was excited to have my brother living near me again. However, thinking about it, I realized that it was more than just that. Seeing my brother get his first photo at the letters felt like a full-circle moment. It reminded me of my first picture at the BG letters and showed me how far I’ve been able to come in developing my own life guided by my own worldview and values because I dared to step away from a life that was not working. This picture was proof that despite all the challenges, anxieties, and hard work, life truly did work out in a way better than I could have dreamed.
To me, this picture is a significant artifact of my current worldview, serving as a reminder that staying true to myself despite my extended family’s backlash and trusting life to provide opportunities, even when I couldn’t yet see them, has led me to my current era at BG. It’s a life I never planned on, but now, I couldn’t imagine living without it.
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