There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family ~ Unknown
This artifact is a movie that my suitemate introduced me to. Ever since she was younger, this movie had been a place of comfort and peace that she would turn to during tough times. She shared this warming movie with me, hoping to cheer me up after an especially rough day. Her care, kindness, and thoughtfulness taught me a lot about the value of friendship and community that night. This movie, Howl’s Moving Castle, reminds me both of how even the toughest days can be joyful and warmhearted with genuinely good friends and how I can learn from my suitemate how to offer the same care and kindness to other people in my life.
Growing up as a homeschooler in a very small town, my freshman year at college held many experiences and opportunities that were both new and exciting. I could attend fun campus events such as football games, hockey games, and Falcon Friday events. I also had the opportunity to participate in a few career-building events, such as the IAAPA conference trip with my major and the Thompson Career Readiness Conference through my Thompson Scholarship. There were also many opportunities to give back to the community. I attended several events like this, such as the Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service, For The Public Good Day of Service, and Letters of Love meetings. One of the most important aspects, however, has definitely been the opportunities to build new friendships and connections. All together, these new experiences and opportunities have been critical and inspirational to my self-growth. However, new experiences unfortunately also come with new stresses. Moving out of state, living with new people, attending a traditional school system for the first time, and exploring the plethora of ways to get involved on campus was often overwhelming.
Throughout the year, I generally tried to internalize my stress. I don’t enjoy having a lot of attention on me, especially if it is because I am struggling with something. For a while, I viewed admitting that I was having a rough time as a sense of bothering, disappointing, or failing others. To avoid this disappointment, I strived to keep any additional attention off of me by embodying a calm and stable nature. Looking back, I recognize that this mindset was unhealthy because bottling your stress and emotions ultimately can and will cause more stress and burnout.
Eventually, one particularly difficult day and the kindness of my suitemate led me to realize the importance of building authentic friendships to lean on during hard times. On this specific day, I was dealing with housing complications for my summer internship, cleaning up a mess in my room that I hadn’t made, attacking a load of assignments, stressing about an exam, and rushing to make it to dinner plans. A lot was going on, but nothing I didn’t think I could manage. That was until later that night when there was suddenly an issue between a mutual friend and me, as well as my suitemates. I didn’t understand where the sudden conflict had come from, but that, combined with everything I had been dealing with that day, just became too much. My suitemate immediately noticed this and offered a safe space to unload the emotions that were weighing on me. Instead of pushing my overwhelming stress away, I allowed myself to lean on the kindness and warmth the friendship with my suitemate provided.
The decision to open up to my friend instead of keeping everything to myself was probably the greatest opportunity I took this year, as it deepened the value I put on friendship as well as showed me how kindness and care can be shown in many ways. After my suitemate saw how distraught and stressed I was, she did her best to create a comforting and relaxing environment, wishing to make me feel at least a little bit better. She planned a whole night filled with our favorite activities, starting with dinner at our go-to spot on campus. The Oaks has become my suite’s version of Friends’s “Central Perk.” We like to have group dinners there at least a couple of times a week, especially when we see good food on the menu. On this particular night, they were serving one of our favorite Oaks meals: nachos! After we enjoyed a fun dinner at the dining hall, we stopped by the Union to buy cheesecake before heading back to the dorm to settle in with some cozy movies.
The first movie we watched was my suitemate’s favorite, Howl’s Moving Castle. This film significantly boosted our morale and created a calming atmosphere through its wholesome characters and animation styles. In a way, it was also enforcing the values I was learning through my real-life situation, as the film’s storyline has a focus on found family. Watching the movie’s characters grow close and be there for each other while experiencing a similar storyline in my reality was impactful. This simple night of good food, comforting movies, and thoughtful friends profoundly influenced my worldview. Through my friend’s display of unconditional kindness, I learned to change my view on how I should approach relationships. I use the memory of this night as a reminder to not view leaning on my friends during tough times as burdensome or disappointing, but rather as a healthy and comforting way to grow personally and in my relationships with them. I also learned through my friend’s example that I can make a positive impact on others’ lives by being there for them, even in the smallest ways. To me, Howl’s Moving Castle is an important artifact of my current worldview as it serves as a reminder of the kindness my suitemate offered during a very overwhelming moment in my life. This artifact also represents the values of friendship, community, and compassion that I have always respected but now have a deeper connection to.
Photo Provided by https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1023513452828023053/
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